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“Train up a child in the way he should
go,
and when he is old
he will not depart from it.”
Proverbs 22:6
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This
political season has had many opportunities for
leadership to shine. Not many opportunities have been taken,
unfortunately. I did however hear a
great bit of advice
recently by John McCain, senator from Arizona
and former
presidential candidate. He quoted the old
Kentucky saying first spoken by Mark
Twain,
“There is no lesson learned by the second kick of a mule.”
In today’s internet age we are bombarded with
opinions of others delivered as advice. We
are also given a great amount of knowledge like never before. As we celebrate Father’s
day this weekend, we are sure to hear mounds of advice of how to be a good
father. I wondered what God might teach us about fatherhood from John McCain’s words
– lesson learned and second kick.
When
we think about Lessons Learned we
often think about what we have learned from our fathers. Some good, some bad. All valuable. Valuable because God can use them good or bad,
and He will use them for your good, if you allow Him to do so.
When
we think about life lessons we’ve learned from our Heavenly Father, we can be
sure it is all good advice. Several verses in the Bible encourage us to listen
and obey the Word of the Lord. 1st
Corinthians 15:58 is a particularly good one, “Therefore, my
beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the
Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.”
Matthew 7:9-11 is also a verse
that can reassure us of trusting God, the Father. “What man is there among
you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a
fish, will he give him a serpent? If you then, being evil, know how to give
good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven
give good things to those who ask Him!”
Proverbs was written by
King Solomon. See here his advice for
his own sons as he quotes his own father, King David. “Hear, O sons, a father's instruction, and be
attentive, that you may gain insight, for I give you good precepts; do not
forsake my teaching. When I was a son with my father, he taught me and said to
me, “Let your heart hold fast my words; keep my commandments, and live. Get
wisdom; get insight; do not forget, and do not turn away from the words of my
mouth.” 4:1-9 ESV
Your perspective and God-given insight is important to the overall
physical, emotional and spiritual well-being of your child; and no matter how
involved you are, good or bad, you will have great impact.
A Father Teaches
A kick
from a mule would certainly be painful, but a Second Kick could
do some real damage. Probably mostly to our pride. If we receive this metaphorical second kick,
its because we were previously given the information of how to avoid the kick
after the first one but we did not heed the instruction. Here is a verse from Joshua 24:15 as this “father” of the faith
calls on the people of God to choose the Lord.
“But if
serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day
whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the
Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living.
But as
for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.”
One of
the most famous stories of someone not heeding fatherly advise and getting the “second
kick” was the story Jesus told of The Prodigal Son (Luke 15).
A Father Provides
There
are a few important characters in this story.
First, the young son. Too smart for his own good and hell bent on
exploring the world. Demanding of his
inheritance, like he’s entitled, then blowing all of it in a short time frame.
Pride lost and hungry, he heads home. Instead of a lecture, his father greets
him with open arms. I have often speculated that this was not the first time
this boy had made a choice such as this.
In fact, we are told in the story that the father throws a party because
he knows the son is home for good!
The
second character is the eldest son. He is angered when the father decides to
throw the brother a party instead of the father punishing him. We are told that this brother was dedicated
to the family so I’m sure he has
witnessed the brother’s escapades over the years. This was a big mistake and he
wants the brother to pay for it this time.
After all, where is his party for being obedient? This brother
demonstrates for us the value of honor through obedience and that it has its own
reward.
“Honor your
father and your mother, so
that you
may live long in the land
the LORD your God is giving you.”
Exodus 20:12 (NIV)
Lastly
we have the father. When challenged by his eldest, the father tenderly reminds
his eldest to show love and forgiveness.
As a father shows compassion to his children,
so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.
Psalm 103:13
ESV
This father demonstrates for both sons what each of them need
for their own growth and maturity into men of God. This father is a provider
and a man of integrity. He too could have punished the prodigal and made him
work to earn back his family honor. But he took the high road and provided an example to each instead.
Merriam-Webster
dictionary definition of integrity is, “The quality or state of being complete
or undivided. Scripture
teaches that the double-minded man is unstable in all his ways (James 1:8). On
the other hand, the man who is single-minded and confident in the promises of
God has clarity of thought and great stability. Being obedient to one master rather
than serving two or three displays the concept of loyalty and obedience.
True leadership is having the integrity to practice what you preach and do what
you say you will do.
“The righteous who walks in his integrity.
Blessed are his children after him!”
Proverbs 20:7 ESV
A Father Leads
Have
you ever thought how awesome it would be to have a National Center for
Fathering? Well – there is!! All the help
you need to be a great dad.
They have blogs and videos on all kinds of topics. Check them out at www.fathers.com/ One of
the greatest struggle dads often speak about is mastering a method of loving discipline.
Discipline is never fun to administer or
receive, but when done patiently, lovingly and consistently it yields good results.
If you love your child, you will
discipline your child by setting boundaries and following through with consequences. But discipline is only effective when you
have first laid the foundation of a loving relationship, and shared the bonds
of affection, encouragement and joy. First delight in your children, then be
willing to correct them with the goal of guiding them to Christ.
“My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord,
nor detest His correction; for whom the Lord loves
He corrects,
just as a father does with the son in whom he
delights.”
Proverbs 3:11-12
A Father Disciplines
Decisions made today will affect the future of you and your child, even
if they are made thoughtlessly. They will bring you pain or bring you glory.
The purpose of parenting is to leave a biblical legacy. The key is to develop the
ability to reflect the Heavenly Father’s love and teaching the truth of the mule.
A Father Leaves a Legacy
“Children’s children are the crown of old men,
and the glory of children is their father.”
Proverbs 17:6
“I have no greater joy than to hear that my children
walk in truth.”
3 John 1:4
Our Prayer Lord, thank you for the wisdom found in your Word for both fathers and children. Let us both treat each other with kindness and true affection. Please provide men of integrity and wisdom to come alongside children whose earthly fathers are absent or abusive. Help us to be compassionate to those children who are lonely and in need. Let us strive to act with integrity, sincerity and strength as we reflect your love.
Click here to see a music video “Good, Good Father” https://youtu.be/WLA4D9UFgr8
A Father Loves
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