Without Limits

I’ve been down for about a week – gall bladder removal surgery.   The pain came without warning, very fast and very strong.  My normal treatments did not make a difference.  Arriving at the emergency room we were told it would be a five hour wait.  I knew I wouldn’t make it five hours; the pain was bad, I was vomiting and I could tell I was going into shock.  Rob, my hubby, talked to the registrar and they moved me up on the list.  Finally, after another hour, they wheeled me back and set up the IV that would carry the pain reliever my body so desperately needed.  Then, like a warm blanket, the medication infused my body and I was covered with a kind of quietness.  

The pain was not gone but it was taken to a manageable level.  It would be two days before the pain reliever was reduced again and then a few more days before it was eliminated.  Now, a week later and I am still not feeling like myself.  It’s been strange to be awake but have no energy, and no mental focus.  Most of you know that I am not a person that rests very well.  Even though this is the only thing I am supposed to do right now; rest and heal.  But, I don’t feel like I’m doing anything worthwhile… I feel limited, chained, taken down by a small infected organ.  

In 2012 I was privileged to attend a church service at Saddleback Church where the guest speaker was Nick Vujicic. He was born without arms or legs.  Today he is a messenger for God.  In the service he shared his story about living a life without limits.  He may be physically limited in traditional ways but he is living a life designed by God.  His weakness used of God for signs of strength.  Nick also spoke of living in God’s best instead of our best.  My best this week would have been to go back to work the day after surgery and have a clear head instantly.  God’s best – rest.  Probably not what God had in mind as I cleaned the toilets and swept the floors my second day home. 

My limiting factor is not the surgery.  It’s the self imposed guilt for not feeling well enough to be productive. So the last few days I’ve been resting my body but more importantly resting my spirit.  I’ve also been trying to look at my physical limitations as a time for God to teach me the value of rest and learn to live days full of His grace without the limits of guilt for resting and healing.

**Lord, thank you for taking the infection from my body and healing me. Thank you for your provision of medications and medical staff to care for me.  Be my strength as I struggle against my natural urges that fight against rest.  Forgive me for judging these days with measurements based on my best instead of your plan of grace.  May your Spirit continue to cover me, like a warm blanket, with your kind of quietness. **

^{But God said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.   2 Corinthians 12:9-10}

Click here for a link to Nick :  Nick Vujicic